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Faith Post: Self-worth

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Something of significance I learned is, my self-worth should not be dependent on anyone else. Period. That may sound like common sense, but living it is an entirely different ball game. I promise my rambling will make sense but I am going somewhere with this.

Self-worth is valuing who you are at your core. It is not dependent on what you have, how much you have, or anyone else's opinion of you.

Sometimes, we keep people in our lives to fill the void of being alone. Eventually those relationships grow along with us for good or go bad like expired fruit. The latter can happen when we change ourselves to fit the relationship which only hurts our own growth. No one should hold that kind of power over us.

I cannot allow another soul to take what has already been given to me. I have perfect love from the Father. I don’t have to work for it. I don’t have to beg for it to accept me. I don’t have to hold back. I don’t have to hide. Every unique quality about me is loved by The One who made me. 1 John 4:8 says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment. For whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

I believe we should view ourselves in the same way that Christ sees us. I found myself in ruts because I could not change a perception of who I was to someone else. I understand now that when other people want to keep me under their thumbs, it is usually because they don’t love themselves.

When someone else chooses to focus on slamming my image or character, it is usually because they want to get the pressure off of focusing on who they are. Focusing in on me means they don’t have to heal their own pain.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.” Ephesians 2:8 says, “God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” Romans 8:37 says, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Believe what is true according to the word of God.

You can definitely disconnect yourself from people who keep you in your past. I find freedom in letting go of what holds me bound. It is who I find myself being when I keep a relationship like that in my life that becomes the big issue.

I become fearful and full of bitterness when I know there is nothing I can do to be right in someone else’s eyes. We can only change ourselves. Truly mature people understand what it takes to build a solid foundation with another individual (ex. love, trust, forgiveness, patience, prayer, etc).

If those things are not there, you have every right to let it go. God will place safe people in your life that will cultivate a Christ-like atmosphere. Let those expired relationships go.

Self-worth means respecting and loving who you are.  In a day in age where image is everything, it is important to cultivate an attitude of acceptance inwardly. This lets others know how to treat us.

If we passively go through life just accepting bad behavior, no boundaries are established. A few years ago I met this older woman who taught me about self-worth. She said, “ what you carry inside of you is what you give the world.” I want to give love. I want to give joy.

I have prayed many times for the Lord to change my circumstances. Instead of fixing my circumstances, I feel like I am the one who has been healed. I love who I am and who Christ says that I am. I want that for you too.

My Birthday Weekend Away + Dallas Bound

Wednesday, October 10, 2018
pansies, violas, pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

Okay, I think it is fair to say that October weather is kicking my butt. My allergies are terrible but I am steadily feeling better. I won’t get into to all the yucks, but I am already on it by taking care of myself. Besides medicating, I bring my vitamins with me and drink lots of water. I also have about nine 😳days missing from Blogtober and I don’t intend on going back and writing them so I will put my energy into my future posts.

pumpkins, fall, lifestyle post

I am still very excited about Fall weather. In fact, when I walked out of the house this morning, I took my sweet ol’ time waltzing down my stairs just so I could stare out into the trees and listen to the leaves Fall. I legit wanted to go change my outfit into something more cozy. I didn’t. I got my happy self in my car and drove my happy self to work, ha!

pumpkin, fall, lifestyle

This past weekend, I got to visit a Lavender Farm for the first in my life ever! It was so fun. My husband and I spent hours walking around looking at the beautiful landscape. The lavender fields were obviously not in full bloom but the farm grows other things like irises, pansies, and violas. We got to see a few of the lavender bushes still in bloom and that was enough for me.

The pumpkins were absolutely adorable! There were so many sizes to choose from!

pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

alpacas, pansies, violas, pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun
(First place chili cook off winners in 2015! Chili was SO good!)

We got to sample taste chili too! There were vendors lined up and down the isles ready to serve you their chili. I believe most of them were broth and tomato sauce based. I have never had that many variations of chili before. I love Texas!

alpacas, pansies, violas, pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

pansies, violas, pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

pansies, violas, pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

pansies, violas, pumpkins, Fall, lifestyle, fun

(None of this is sponsored or advertising -- Just some fun things from the farm I really enjoyed. If you are interested or desire to know more about this place or a particular vendor, I will do my best to get the info to you. Thanks!)

A Formula for Success: Persistence and a Kept Promise

Wednesday, October 3, 2018
workout, persistence, promise-keeping, self-love, self-care

I was listening to an audible book called, Girl Wash Your Face the other day. She talked about keeping a promise to yourself or the lack thereof in such a unique perspective. We do our best to take care of others but when it comes to our own lives, not so much. It isn't because we don't want to. Life happens and we get caught up in it.

As I mentioned before, one of the things I incorporated back into my life was exercise. I made up so many excuses as to why I should hold off. Everything from the membership fee to the look of my workout clothes and if I had someone to go with swirled around in my thoughts.

I finally had enough. I got up one morning before my alarm went off, got dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, prepared my work clothes, and headed out the door before I had a chance to change my mind. There was ZERO planning for any of it. Planning out a schedule and workout routine came after this crazy morning. It worked!

Now I work out about three times a week before work. This is a small step in the direction that I desire. On days when I am dragging, I bring my clothes to go after work. The promise I made to myself to be healthy exceeds losing weight. It is an evolving lifestyle of better choices I make on a daily basis.

"Whatever standard you’ve set for yourself is where you’ll end up . . . unless you fight through your instinct and change your pattern." Rachel Hollis, Girl Wash Your Face

manageable schedule has really helped me become persistent. Even on days I messed up and ate what I wanted, I knew that I still would have to go to the gym. I knew that I would have to work off that candy bar I ate or the Chic Fil A I picked up earlier. Even when I eat what I am supposed to, I am going to the gym. Three times a week for now.

When I look into the mirror, I see a girl full of life. I see a girl that wants to travel the world and impact those around her to be the best that they can be. I see a girl that is beautiful and loved and wanted and is just as important as the others around her. This girl has scars from hardship, rejection, pain, and low self-esteem. She wears her scars with grace and her soul is full of light. To be this girl on the inside and out is my standard and I will not accept anything less.

Rachel's insight went beyond health and fitness. It can even be applied to other things in life like relationships, professional settings, productivity, and so much more. This is my starting place. What is yours? Do you often find yourself on the back burner? Do you feel overwhelmed? You may not be the only one.  Share it in the comment section below.

Note: The book mentioned in this post is just a really great book. I would recommend it to everyone! The opinions and perspectives are my own. Thank you for stopping by. Until next time!

Random Thoughts After a Long Day

Monday, October 1, 2018
positivity, blogtober, self-love, self-care, happy

This is a little different from my normal posts but I am going for it. Today I have really struggled with keeping my thoughts together in general. I was distracted or super focused and at some point my eyes glazed over as I watched the screen. Brain fog is what some call it.  It is like I could find a reason to complain about anything. The scariest part is how easy it just came out into words.

I woke up in a great mood. Nothing was exactly wrong. At some point, my energy drained and I was helpless to recover. Although it had been raining all day, I made a decision to go to the gym. I brought my clothes to work and I debated because of the rain. Luckily common sense won me over. If I wanted to feel better, sitting around sulking wasn’t going to help me.

I made it to the gym and went directly upstairs to the cardio machine. I pulled up my favorite workout and got the ball rolling. I chose the one closest to the window so I could stare out at the traffic and cityscape surrounding me.

As I scrambled to figure out how to get my bluetooth headphones to work, I noticed an older lady next to me kindly watching me fumble around with the earpiece that was supposed to go around my head and into my ear AND in order to get the machine to work I had to move quickly or it would cut off. Yeah, it was basically a circus show. I told myself that it was okay if it made her giggle a little. At least someone got a laugh in today!

positivity, blogtober, self-love, self-care, happy

The workout I chose alternated resistance levels and strides in one minute intervals. By level twenty, I was feeling it. My breathing was thinning out and I could feel my heart beating fast. It is amazing how half an hour on a machine could take your mind off of things.

I took a break and chugged down some water. I got closer to the window to watch the rain glide down the glass. Little prisms formed when rays of light came through at just the right time. To think I spent the day being so negative about the rain earlier. In that moment I took it all back! Anybody else just needed some space to see things clearly? Comment below and tell me how you got through it.

I am sure working out helped. I am sure to feel it in the morning. Maybe that is all I needed was to step back and enjoy the little things. Less complaining. I look forward to tomorrow. A new day!

Self-love: Defined by Resilience

Sunday, September 30, 2018
self-love, self-care, personal-growth

There is nothing more heartbreaking than falling short of your dreams. Everything that you worked so hard for just gone before your eyes. I've been there. I understand the pain. I wince when I reflect back on a very tough lesson learned. Although they are part of life, it does not make them any easier.

A couple of years ago, I was let go of not one, but two temporary positions within a couple of months of each other. I was also in school full time and I had other responsibilities like wedding planning, college ministry, and a new position as president over a student organization that needed to be fully overhauled. I was in over my head and the last thing I needed was to be let go of. I confided in a few trusted friends but it seemed to make matters worse because I felt like no one understood.

I was surrounded by people and felt totally alone. I knew I needed to take a few irons out of the fire as one put it, but I certainly wouldn't have chosen for it to happen the way it did. I wanted to give it my all but I wasn't taking very good care of myself. I experienced anxiety frequently because I was worried everything was falling through the cracks. I finished out the semester. I got married in the summer. I secured a full time job with benefits shortly after but it still felt like hell.

In this ugly transition, I also stopped doing what I loved-dancing. I had been dancing since grade-school. I did everything from tap, ballet, hip-hop, and jazz. I danced at church. I danced at school. Drill-team. Studio. I made room for it where I could. Life did not seem as simple as it did before. I noticed a gap forming in my life and a ten month depression followed.

Once I stopped licking my wounds, I realized that I did not want to stay in a stagnant position. I had experience failure and I did not want to return. Fear is the driver behind the emotions that paralyze you. Fear makes you think that there is emptiness in your future and shame in your past.  I am here to tell you that it is far from true. Though our human nature is flawed, we are also very resilient.

Usually it is the journey that makes us feel like we have failed. It may just be the route we took, decisions we made, or who we entangled ourselves with along the way that make or break accomplishing the dream. That is why I call it a lesson-learned. It does not mean that we cannot explore and try things differently. I knew that if I continued to try the same things before, I would end up in a worse situation. I could not control the outcome of everything, but I could control me. I responded with change.

When difficult situations occurred, I found out what I was made of. There were some characteristics I was proud of and some not so much. I took that as an indicator of what I needed to work on. One of them was realizing that life is full of surprises and at some point I would have to accept that.  As an A-type personality that plans and plans for just about everything, it was hard to comprehend because there is always a plan B, or C…. right? I mean right?? 

Well anyone can plan and I am of course all for it but please know that the tighter you hold on to something, the more the burn will hurt when it is ripped away even for a moment. It took a while to get back on track. Thankfully, I am in a place in life where I am able to sort things out. I definitely prioritize my life better than I ever have.

From Me To You,
It is never too late to start over again. Do not allow fear and indecision to become a barrier in reaching your dream. If no one has ever said it, I will. I am sorry for all you have gone through. I know it hurts. You may feel all alone right now, but this too will pass. When you are ready, wipe your eyes and look up. Dust the dirt off and rise up beloved. A new journey awaits you if you will just try again.