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Ways to Live Past Fear

Thursday, July 5, 2018

As I recount the timeline of my life, I can easily access the good and bad memories that have shaped the way I am today. For the most part, I consider myself fortunate because I know things could have turned out for the worst, but I am here today as proof that you don't have to accept the struggles of life as your only path.

Fear. The act of being scared to or of... I have known it all too well starting from an early age. My body can signal the flight or fight response as quickly as I blink sending sharp pings of what feels like ice through my spine and stomach as I respond by fleeing or sitting- paralyzed by what took place. If it were the other way around I might respond differently than I do today, who knows? Fear will teach you how to respond, but it will not teach you how to FULLY live.

I had always been labeled as quiet and sweet. Those labels became my personality and my comfort and I hated it. Not that what was said was a bad thing, but it became bad when I needed to learn how to be strong and that is all I had to rely on. Eventually, what is comfortable won't work anymore and you must choose to break out of the fear that holds you captive. It was a bubble I could not burst no matter what. I feared what people thought of me. I feared making mistakes. I feared the consequences of those mistakes. I feared disappointment. I feared I couldn't escape no matter how hard I tried because it was simply who I was and in turn I began to hate myself for it. I knew I was more than that but fear seeped in perverting every good thing I thought about myself.

Sometimes there is a temptation to shrink back in to the negative emotions that try to overwhelm me. I am human so some days they win-some days! I have learned to arm myself with acknowledging the fear. If there is truth to something I need to work on, I make note of it but I don't dwell on it because this can worsen the strong emotions I already feel. In due time, the lasting change will take place.

I remind myself who I am today and what I have left behind. I do not allow the emotions to rule me. I affirm the good things about who I am and move on. I learned to do these things for myself! People (as well meaning as they can be) can build you up and tear you down in the same breathe if they want to and because of this, it is important to be grounded in your identity which will keep you from relying on their praise and criticism. You have to learn how to stand!

By taking control, I began to see that my quality of living increased. I responded differently in my relationships. My productivity in the workplace also increased because I was not drained by negativity. I found ways to incorporate positive thinking in to my life even when I did not feel like it by listening to podcasts, YouTube videos, books, etc. Overall, I found it much easier to take risks because I knew what I brought to the table. You must truly believe you are worth it. It won't be an overnight process but one of substance and fulfillment. 

I am fearless.
I am unconditionally loved.
I am valuable beyond measure.
I am beautiful.
I am made for greatness.

I will not allow fear to control me. 
I have authority over fear!

I do this not just to feel better, but to remind my body, soul, and mind of what is true. This is about taking control of your thoughts and actions. If you allow it to be so, your struggles will live your life for you throwing you around in fear rendering you defeated. Don't allow it to be so. Your life does not have to be perfect for you to start changing the way you feel about yourself. You deserve to live life at your best.

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